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| Varkala - Kerala, India |
I spoke too soon about Kerala. In fact, it is only Kochin, a city in Kerala, that we didn't like. Kelly and I left Kochin quickly, and headed for the outskirts to take a backwater cruise in the most luxurious way possible - aboard a houseboat. I was leery about this super-indulgent way to go, but Kelly pushed for it and it turned out to be perfect. Kochin felt wronged that we were attempting to leave her, and wreaked havoc on us as we headed out of the city. Our taxi driver executed a few close call brakings behind a stopped bus or two, but hell broke loose when his car’s hood flew open in the middle of the road. It just leapt from the closed position, and then cartwheeled toward the right (driver’s side in India), hanging only by one hinged side. It freaked our shit. The driver pulled over, and we tried to put it back on, but it wouldn’t go. We were only a few kilometers from our destination, so he took us hoodless and then later doubled back for his cover. In a final display of her fury at our departure, Kochin orchestrated a series of events that found me placing my middle finger directly onto a lit incense stick that had been placed sideways sticking out from the back of a chair on the houseboat. The worst part was that my immediate reaction was that I had stabbed myself with a piece of errant straw, and so I kept my finger where it was, not wanting to pierce it further or risk it tearing off in my finger. Tragically, these strategies are ineffective against fire. The blister healed that same day, with speed that astounded me, but of course now I realize it was because we were out of hexing distance from what I will now refer to as “the evil city”.
The houseboat was awesome! For the price of a cardboard box-sized hotel room in Sweden, we got 24 hours on a swanky yet authentic Indian houseboat, including all travels, meals, and sightseeing. It was just Kelly and I on the boat, along with our three crew (who performed the cooking, steering, and guiding). Few things are as serene and enjoyable as sitting in a reclining chair, cruising along an empty lake passageway through forest. And then came a torrential downpour, which made it even cooler (the houseboat had a sturdy roof). Our stops included a spice house visit, docking for the night, and a visit to the shell refinery. When I say shell refinery, I don't mean oil; they were unloading shells from the lake and burning them, which yields a white powder used for paints and whitewall (or is it whitewash?). The house visit was strange. Basically, we just walked onto a dude's porch, sat down, and stayed. Kelly and I were looking to our guide for any sign as to why we were there or when we might perhaps leave, but he offered no answers. Our (first) host was a 90 year old Indian man who was on his last legs. Speaking and walking for him were excruciatingly effortful, hearing proved mostly fruitless despite effort. He was really nice, as was his son (the teacher), who showed up in a horrible toupay and dialogued with us in excellent English. They were growing spices in the backyard. I'm pretty sure that was the legitimate reason we were there - it was a "spice tour". Except the spice viewing lasted 10 seconds and the awkward family visit an eternity.
Questioned asked us by 90 year old man (with translation help):
1. What agricultural products do you grow in California?
2. How many liters of milk can you get from a cow in California?
3. I am not kidding about question number 2.
Later, we parked for the night in front of a small village with kids who greeted our boat. The kids, as well as everyone we saw from our boat, greeted us with waves and smiles. This has somewhat to do with the friendliness of Indians, and a whole lot to do with boat-inspired friendliness. I have found that boats are the only means of transportation where people are universally kind to one another. You can walk or drive past someone and easily snub them, but float past them one way or another, and it is almost instinctive to smile and wave.
Anyway, the kids were really sweet, and I later impressed them with some magic tricks I brought for just such an occasion. They were dumbfounded. In fairness, I brought some really good tricks. It was fun to watch the parents behind the kids looking on to placate the kids, and then watch their expression shift when they wonder what the heck just happened. The kids were asking for pens, which is a customary gift that we didn't bring, so instead we gave them the first and latest Indian edition of Good Housekeeping magazine. Kids and parents alike gathered around it like we had just handed them fire. It was given as a gift, but after half an hour they gave it back to us. Kelly tried to insist they keep it, but I told her to take it back, afraid the return signaled an attitude of "gee thanks, but please don't pollute our little village with these corrupt appeals to our insecurity and ego." Either that or the magazine just sucked (more likely).
On our way out, the villagers showed us how they turn the inside of a coconut into rope...very resourceful stuff. They have a wheel that spins it, and after enough spinning, that strandy stuff inside a coconut makes rock solid rope. They use it in the construction of their houses, and also sell it. In addition, it keeps many a goat in place.
The houseboat was a great experience. Our hospitable crew took care of us from start to finish (minus the usually standard-issue incense guards). The food was authentic and delicious. I didn't want to get off, but alas we did and headed to Varkala by train.
Varkala, being a non-Kochin city in Kerala, is also very nice. It's a sleepy little town perched on a cliff overlooking a beach with very rough surf (too big and rough for bodysurfing...drat!). We picked out Preeth Beach Resort as a good place to stay. They cut us a good deal on a lovely cottage with A/C, necessary because it's the only thing that keeps the mosquitoes away, and Kelly was sporting about 20 bites. Preeth has a pool, which is why we picked it. It's one of those places that is really nice - it's pretty, has good service, and is clean. It just lacks that final portion of coordinated service and organization that allows a place to charge about four times more than they are charging. It's like the best team in the minor leagues, which is just fine by me.
We have been getting daily ayurvedic treatments, which is a specialty of Kerala. It's a holistic healing system revolving around various forms of herbs, massage, and diet (we're not doing the diet part, but rather stuffing our faces with everything Indian). I had a massage that was very similar to a Swedish massage (long, flowing strokes), except the guy used about 10 times more oil, I was lying on an uncomfortable wood plank, and I was forced to wear a man-thong. No, it was worse than a man-thong. After stripping down, my masseur produced a long piece of cloth, about three inches wide, and proceeded to wrap me from rooter to tooter. Imagine me hoisted like a yoyo atop a string. I might as well have been naked...this cloth wasn't hiding anything. What it was doing, however, was maximally emasculating me. Ah, whatever. After all, an Indian boy is about to rub me in oil for an hour, who am I kidding.
Our stay here in Varkala will forever be associated with Luna, the latest of the sick puppies we have just taken in. We found her outside a shop atop the cliff, eating some bread a local Tibetan shopkeep had given her (she had just noticed her that day). The poor pup can't walk straight. She has something wrong with the coordination of her legs, so she constantly falls to one side, and won't walk at all on one paw (in fact, she only gathers strength to walk in order to reach food). She also had a tick hanging from her left ear engorged to the size of a small grape. My recommendation to Kelly that we leave her alone fell on deaf, caring ears. She's been staying at our cottage since two hours after we found her.
One of our first tasks was to remove the huge tick, which we finally accomplished with tweezers. We named her Luna (as in she used to be Lunatic, but we removed the tick). We bathed her, and saw a local vet to get some meds. We've so far rid her of her ticks, fleas, and mites. We're hoping that helps her mange (skin disease) to heal, and eases her suffering. We've also given her worm medicine, and a ridiculous supply of chicken fried rice. It doesn't matter how much she has eaten, she sits down to each helping as if she hasn't eaten in weeks. She is gaining strength, but her primary walking problem still remains. An internet search determined that her symptoms match almost exactly those of doggie lyme disease (although it mentions the diagnosis is often incorrect). The drug to cure doggie lyme disease happens to be the same drug we've been taking daily for malaria prevention, doxycycline. So we've split open some capsules and started her on it, just in case. Don't worry, parents, humans don't get lyme disease from dogs, and we're obviously super careful with the ticks.
I am worried about Kelly. She has gotten really attached to Luna, and her emotions have caught up to the realization that we will have to leave her in a few days. I have grown attached too, but I know it will affect Kelly much more. We're trying to find a good home for her, but it may prove very difficult here. A lot depends on how she does over the next two days...we'll have to just wait and see. For now, I need to go care for Kelly, who is caring for Luna.
