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| Jaipur, India |
Kelly and I have started a weight loss plan. It is foolproof and guaranteed to take off the pounds quickly. Because this plan is bound to be popular, I will share with you the three simple steps to easy weight loss:
1. Go to India
2. Eat and drink in many Indian cities
3. Contract bacterial infection
Alas, we got sick. Well, really, Kelly got sick...I had a sympathetic day-long fever, which was cured with a few Cipro and rest. Kelly got it really bad, though...diarhhea, fever, and intense throbbing throughout her body. We saw a doctor for 5 days. At first, they gave her two antibiotics, which did nothing. After the third day, the final results came back from her fluid tests confirming the existence of a particularly resilient strain of bacteria. After this diagnosis, Kelly was prescribed an antibiotic suited to this particular strain. Immediately after receiving the matched antibiotic (on day 4 of her illness), she made a quick recovery, and is now in great health.
During the first, and worst, day of the debilitating onset of her sickness, Kelly achieved a personal best of 18 trips to the bathroom in one day (she urged me to include these specifics in my blog...no she didn't). Sometimes nature calls, and sometimes she sends hourly spam emails. For nearly 3 days Kelly wasn't able to keep anything in her stomach, and by the third day she had to have an IV drip just to keep her hydrated. The poor thing has been through a lot here in Jaipur. Fortunately, my fever and throbbing headache lasted only 24 hours, so I have been able to care for her. When a man helps a woman to deliver a stool sample, you know it's love. Kelly was also well taken care of by the doctor we saw, who was very professional with a good bedside manner, as well as by the male nurse, who was hilarious and seemed to sadistically enjoy the pain caused by the many shots in the bum Kelly had to receive.
This process has taught me that Indians, at least those in the lower echelons of the service industry, do not understand the concept of a gradual recovery. Every day, as we made our way to the doctor's office, we were met by the hotel staff and rickshaw driver with "All better?" We would explain Kelly was a little better but still sick. But then sure enough as we returned from the doctor's office, "All better?" Of course, this has a lot to do with the language barrier, but also a lot to do with the tenacity of Indians...they like to see things through to their conclusion, and are never shy with the questions.
Unfortunately, this little crippling sickness forced us into solitary confinement in our hotel for a total of 7 days...so we had to modify our travel plans. We will no longer be visiting Udaipur or Pushkar. Our visit to the state of Rajasthan, actually, will have consisted of only a couple non-bedridden days in Jaipur, and an in-depth knowledge of the local medical and pharmacy system. Such is life. We are sacrificing seeing these other places in order to make our Buddhism class in Dharamsala. Our temporary stagnation has got me itching to move on...when I picture our next destination, travel feels almost novel again.
After the sickness ordeal, Kelly and I treated (although at ridiculously low prices) ourselves to a pedicure (for her) and a swedish massage and haircut (for me). In India, only men massage men. This is not such a big deal, but I noticed some differences from a Swedish massage in the States. I was "covered" in a towel that really was never covering me at any point. When I was face up and my masseur was massaging my upper legs, his hands kept gliding across my [cling clang]. Then when he was massaging my (extremely) low belly, he collided with my [honk]. Finally, when I was face down, the liberal use of oil allowed his hands to creep dangerously inside my [eeh yai eeh yai eeh yai]. I figured out later that there was a miscommunication. I had asked him to focus some extra time on my neck, and when I said "neck", he must have heard "butt cheeks". I assure you nothing in that area needed to be any looser. I wasn't violated or anything, but I refer you again to the complete lack of homophobia in India. My next massage will be in Thailand.
I probably will not be able to post again before the 10-day Buddhism course completes, as we are not allowed off campus, not to mention we are forbidden to speak for the entire class period. For those (besides us!) who are curious what we are getting ourselves into, check out the course description.
