Nigerians - Rich but always in need of help

I finally got the chance to write back one of those "Nigerian" guys offering me millions of dollars to assist him. Below is my rather lengthy email exchange with Kenneth.
Color scheme: Kenneth's emails are bullshit blue, My emails are greedy green.

Dear friend,

I am Mr. Kenneth Obi senior manager accounts/audit department, in first bank of Nigeria Plc. DR. GEORGE BRUMLEY, who was a contractor with Shell-development Company in Nigeria and a personal friend Died and left behind his deposit in this bank (FIRST BANK NIGERIA PLC) valued USD 20,723,822.90.

I am writing to seek your cooperation over this business deal. In my department, I discovered an abandoned sum of USD 20,723,822.90., (Twenty Million,seven hundred and twenty three thousand eight hundred and twenty-two dollars,ninety cents) only , in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family in a plane crash that took place in Kenya, East Africa, the Late DR. GEORGE BRUMLEY, a citizen of Atlanta, United States of America but resident here in Nigeria, West Africa and a physician .

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because it cannot be released unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately, all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind to claim the money. therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you via your foreign bank account as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and this money Could go into the Bank treasury as unclaimed Bill.

The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after four years, the money will be transferred into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request for your assistance and maximum co-operation as a foreign citizen to stand as the next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the deceased customer was a foreigner. 40 % of this money will be for you as my foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign ccount. and 60 % would be for me. There after I will come over to your country for disbursement ccording to the percentages indicated.

Therefore to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as the relation or next of kin to the deceased, indicating your claims and where the money will be remitted into. Upon receipt of your respose indicating your willingness to work with me, I will send to you by fax or email the contact information of my bank manager which you will use to submit the application and I will direct you on how to do that. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is strictly confidential and I will use my position in this Bank to effect a hitch free transfer of the fund and that is to say I guarantee that this transaction will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you and I from any breach of the law.

Please get in touch with me through my email: kennn12obi@yahoo.com and send to me your full name telephone and fax numbers to enable us discuss further about this transaction. You can visit the website below for more information about the Plane Crash and the tragic death of the deceased and his entire family, Late DR GEORGE BRUMLEY.
http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/07/20/kenya.crash/index.html
Awaiting your urgent reply
Thanks and my regards.
Mr Kenneth Obi.
N/B. Please reply through my alternative email address kennn12obi@yahoo.com


I am interested in assisting you (and me) in this transaction. However, I will accept no less than 65% of the total for myself, leaving 35% for you.


Dear Lewis,
I am responding to your request and I shall be giving you the full detail of this transaction. I hope you have read my first letter to your understanding? It's my desire to go into business relationship with you.But this is based on your professional assistance,willingness, trust sincerity and give out your undivided effort.

Further to this, I wish to let you understand that I am a man of 45years, married, with four children. But there is one thing I want you to know. I don't want a situation whereby we have started this business you will one day change. Because some times humans change when it comes to dealings with money. I have contacted you because we two can always understand each other.

Moreso I want you to know that this transaction must be kept absolutely confidential. I am banking on you not to disclose this business to anybody this is for security reasons.As I have stated in my first letter to you, the bank (FIRST BANK PLC) gave me the power of mandamus to scout for my late client next of kin.

The bank on its own have done all they could but to no avail in locating any of my client relative. I applied to the appropriate unit of the bank with the knowledge of the board of directors, to give the authority that I can produce my late client next of kin so that thefunds will be transferred to him. Note that I was his Account officer when he was alive. I have decided to take this step because I wouldn't want the Nigeria Government to confiscate his account and use his funds for the African Countries at war. I saw this as a great opportunity for us to enrich ourselves and go into business relationship, this is why I contactedyou. If you are willing to work with me, you must always follow my instruction in order not to make mistake. Have it in mind that I have perfected all and there are no risk involved. Also you are not going to appear here in the bank. But you must adhere to my instruction.

Dear, there are three question I would like to ask.
1 Can I really trust you? By entrusting this funds into your account?
2 Is your account safe and capable of receiving this money?
3 Can you make me believe that you will not leave me in the cold when the money hits your account? (Trust.Sincerity, confidential, willingness,ability to assist)

sorry I have to ask this question because I have done a business like this in the past and my pertner ranaway with the funds so I would not want such thing to happen again and I have served this bank close to 10 years before such trust could be granted to me.

Now I have decided to continue this transaction with you and for us to proceed into this, you have to send to me your direct telephone number where I can always contact you, please try all you can and give me a call,as it is important we have an oral discussion to this matter. Your urgent reply will be highly appreciated Note that this transaction will last for only 10 working days if only you will follow my instruction and when I authorize the payment to you,and the money gets into your account, you will take 40% while I take 60%. if you agree with this I will immediately direct you on how you will apply to his bank for the release of the fund and we will have to familiarize ourselves, by providing a picture identity of ourselves, so that we can both know whom we are dealing with. Again I guarantee that this transaction will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Please call me as soon as you received this email so that we can discuss on how to take the next step and you should also send to me your direct telephone number where I can always contact you.
As soon as I hear from you I will direct you on how to apply to the bank for the release of the fund.

Waiting to hear from you.
I remain
Yours faithfully,
Mr.Kenneth obiDirect line: +234-8038 633 362


I feel that you are not listening to what I am saying. I stated clearly that I will accept no less than 65% of the total of funds, and yet your followup email states again that I will receive 40%.


Dear Brother,

Thanks for your email.

Brother honestly I am willing to proceed with you in this business because I am so sure that if we come together and do this with one mind just like brothers we must be grateful to God for bringing us together and that is to say I am willing to offer you what you requesting but we must have to discuss on phone first in order for me to be sure that your going to be totally honest to me.

I believed that for us to conclude this transaction successfully we really have to agree on how to take the next step so I will advise you to call me so that we can really discuss about it and you should also send to me your cell phone number where I can always reach you any time because I am not willing in any way ready to continue this transaction that involves over $20.M only on the internet.

Please indicate your willing to proceed with me by calling me on my direct number +234 8038 633 362 and also send to me your cell phone number where I can always reach you anytime.

As soon as I hear from you I will immediately direct you on how to apply to the bank for the release of the funds.

I await your urgent response.

Thanks,

Kenneth


I am glad you agree to my terms. Calling you long distance is going to cost me extra money, though. Because of this extra money, I am going to have to change the percentages I asked for. If I am going to have to call you, I must demand we split the money 70/30. I know that's only 30% for you, but it seems I need to incur up front costs, which mandates that I receive a larger cut.

Please let me know if this is acceptable to you.


Dear Matt,
Please I do not want you to toy with this business in any way so please indicate your willingness by given me your telephone number so that I can call you since you cannot call me.
Thanks,
Kenneth


I cannot believe that you are accusing me of toying with you! I am trying to negotiate with you a split of this money that is fair, given the amount of risk that is being taken. I am not the next of kin of Dr. Brumley, but I will be acting as if I am his next of kin. This involves a great deal of risk if I am caught.

I have many business deals going at any given time, and all are negotiated to my liking beforehand. I am extremely interested in this opportunity, as the portion I will receive (if you agree to my terms) is much, much greater than what I earn per year. Heck, it's five times my net worth!

I prefer to call you. I am afraid I cannot continue until I have your word that I will receive 70% of the total, and you 30%.


Brother,
Thanks for your email.
I want to assure you again that this transaction will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you and I from any breach of law so you have nothing to worry about and I will like you to handle this transaction with seriousness now that I am willing to give you 70% of the total funds
Brother, I will like us to continue the business because that is running out but I must discuss with you on phone before I direct you on how to apply for the release of the funds so please call me on my direct number 234 8038 633 362.
Please indicate your willingness to proceed with me by calling me and also given me your cell phone number where I can always reach you anytime because it is very important we be in close contact until this transaction is concluded as I will be directing you on what to do and how to do it in order for you not to make any mistake.
I will be expecting your call.
Thanks,
Kenneth


Okay. I am going to call you this weekend. One thing, though. I decided I want 80%. I don't have a precise reason for it, I just woke up today and 80 seemed like the number. I have some gambling debts to pay off, you know how it is. You have been most accomodating with my previous percentage changes, and I trust you will have no problem with this one as well. Brother, I do look forward to working with you.


I haven't heard from Kenneth after this last email.